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The Marriage Proposal - Part 6


WHEN SHE SAYS “NO”

You need to understand that friendship, relationship and love is a platform of freedom. Some ladies already know what is coming their way. When you ask for an emotional relationship and she says no – it doesn’t mean she is a bad lady. This can be an honest answer.

Don’t fight it, don’t force it, don’t manipulate it, don’t give money or gift to impress her enough to say YES. If she needs you, fine, if she doesn’t need you – don’t feel bad about it. Don’t let it affect your self esteem. If you truly love her, you will respect her decision.

When she says no to you, it doesn’t mean you are inferior to her and it doesn’t mean you are useless. When she says no, it does mean that her priority and your priority is not on a common ground. 

Don’t hate any lady for saying NO to your proposal and you and her can still be good friends (platonic). There is more to life than you dating her. There are lot of things God can use you to do in her life. There are things she can still learn from you. There are things you can still learn from her. You can still help her in platonic friendship. When a lady says no – it’s not a battle.

When a lady says no, ask her for the reason. Some time, it can be the wrong timing or the fact that her priority at that moment is connected to her self development instead of dating. If her no means wait, you can choose to wait if you can – till it’s comfortable for her to be emotionally available for a relationship.

When a lady is emotionally available for a relationship and say NO to your proposal because she can’t be committed to you or because you are not her kind of man – respect her decision and let her go.
WHEN SHE SAYS YES

When she says YES – that is not the end of the story – that is the beginning of the journey. This is where mental, character, spiritual and emotional preparation begins. This is the time to TALK. 

This talk is more of you educating her on what she has just accepted. The fact that she said YES, does not mean you can manipulate and dominate her. The fact that she said YES to your proposal does not mean she can be pregnant for you. The fact that she said YES to your proposal does not mean you can start having sex.

The fact that she said YES to your proposal does not mean she is no longer free to make her own decision. The fact that she said YES to your proposal does not mean you have to stop her from developing and improving her talent, creativity and herself. The fact that she said yes to your proposal does not mean you are now her father and lord.

The fact that she said YES does not mean she is now your property. You still have limitation. You are only free when her parent legally give you their support and you pay the bride price. When she says YES, it mean we can be teammate in this journey of destiny and purpose. When she says YES, it means we can think, talk and listen to each other more deeply. It means I am willing to respect our differences emotionally. It means I am mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually committed to you and to us.

When she says YES, it means we can run together with our individual vision in Christ Jesus. It means we can honour God and fulfill purpose together. It means Jesus is the center of this relationship. It means I am ready to fight for you, as you must be ready to fight for her too. It means SHE IS WILLING TO SHARE HER LIFE WITH YOU – not living her life for you.

The fact that she said YES, it means you must be committed to dress her (nurture) and keep (protect) her. It means you are to accept her instead of judging her. It means you are to nurture her with Gods word and not condemning her. It means, you must speak words of affirmation to her and not feeling jealous and intimidated by her success.

When she says YES, it means you must remind her to always obey the scriptures and not influencing her to sin. It means you encourage her to be more discipline and not making her your sex toy. It means you loving her just like Jesus loved you. You have to treat her the way God wants you to treat her.

To be continued...

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Location: Ibadan, Nigeria

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